Officer Makay log: Scarlett investigation.
7:23am-We entered the house, everything seems normal, apart
from a broken vase, and upturned pillows. Every time an officer comes into this
house it is immaculate.
7:57am- after looking around the whole house we decide to
look at the security cameras of the shop opposite the house.
8:06am- we saw a group of teens- young adults come out a
shabby van into the parking lot outside the shop, they walk up to the house then
open the door and went in, we’ll have to look at different cameras
8:27am- we found a camera from a block of flats behind the
house, from there we could see through a back window, which we saw the gang
lock the grandmother into, then later Scarlett joined
8:34am- we went back to the house to find the door open, we
looked in the room where the two were. They were gone, there was blood on the
floor, and we are investigating now.
9:23am- the DNA was a match, the pair have the same DNA as
the mother, we fear we might be too late. We are checking cameras around the
whole town to find them.
9:46am- we have checked most of the cameras, we have tracked
down the van, we believe this is their hide out. We are calmly going to ask
them come out, if they don’t then we will be forced to use go in our own way.
9:55am- no answer and the door is locked, we will have to
break down the door.
9:57am- there gone, they left the remains of the two, it
looks like there are bite marks in the flesh, we will investigate farther,
first we have to tell the mother the bad news. Then we will find them.
A bit of a misunderstanding - you
are supposed to retain the plot of Little Red Riding Hood, but the story line should not include any actual wolf - so this doesn't make great sense.
You can respond to this marking by
answering the target question as a comment below (you do not need to repose the
whole thing this time!)
KPI: C2c Write scripts to improve
dialogue with a clear purpose A
+ You show understanding of the
character speaking in the choice of language (the language used in a police
report)
T What do you want the audience to
feel? How could you make them feel this more?
L Explain the difference between
"there" and "they're"
What I meant for it to mean was
that the gang are cannibals, that's why they are a danger, but next time I will
stay within the plot.
They’re means they are. There
means like someone saying: look over there.
